The MLB/Baseball topic

[Ocelot]

"HELLO MA'AM MY NAME IS VANCE HONEYCUTT AND I'M PRESIDENT OF THE WOODWORKING CLUB AND GOLLY GEE GOSH I SURE WOULD LIKE PERMISSION TO ASK YOUR DAUGHTER OUT IF YOU DON'T MIND"

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[Bandit]

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Shit man, good for her but that's rough

[Bandit]

The second manager next to Earl Weaver to be ejected before the game even started.

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[Bandit]

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Man fuck Paw Patrol, Aaron Judge and the entire Yankees organization

[Bandit]

Don't worry, he broke his lucky bat. He's going to be sent back down to the minors soon.

[Bandit]

[Dr. Zoidberg]

Why is the crowd so low?

[Bandit]

They're having one of the worst seasons in history, traded the few good players to other teams, and the better team of Chicago (Cubs) are only 10 miles away.

[Dr. Zoidberg]

Oh OK. You would still think they would get a few thousand diehards to their games.

I don't really follow baseball, but if I did go for a team it would be the White Sox, due to Frank Thomas and his 90s video games.

[Bandit]

Yeah, they used to be really popular with Frank Thomas, Robin Ventura and Jack McDowell. Also had celebrity fans Mr. T, Barack Obama, Michael Jordan and Bobby Heenan. And they won the World Series in 2005. But in the 2010s they had a bad decade and the Cubs finally won the World Series and haven't had a long term good manager since Ozzie Guillen went to broadcasting.

[ian]

If they're really in need of fans, is there some sort of free passport, airfare, accommodation, food, season ticket package? I'd support them!

If not I'll go to the local oval which gets bigger crowds watching people fly kites.

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There's another problem, they don't want fans. Terrible ticket sales could make relocation to Austin, TX (or whereever else) more of a reality. The owner is a tightwad who has threatened relocation in the past to get public funds for new stadiums and renovations.

He got Comiskey Park demolished in 1990 and the threats kept working in the nineties because everyone was wearing White Sox and Raiders caps. They won an inexplicable World Series in 2005 and that was it. Now if Chicago won't pay up because the fans don't care, the owner can try grifting another city to pay millions and billions to build a new ballpark.

The article alludes to a great comparison with the Chicago Cubs. That team was sold around the same time as the White Sox for about the same amount of money. The Cubs kept their historic ballpark, finally won another World Series, and managed to double its valuation.

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The stream of fans leaving in the background makes this even funnier

[Bandit]

[Ocelot]

Never have I laughed at baseball more.

[Bandit]