COME ON LASTY!

[ian]

I went to the Melbourne cup today.

After a history of my horses being scratched last minute, coming last, falling over in the race and being shot and generally losing every year for 20 years, I wasn't inclined to gamble.

But my uncle took me and walked me through the whole process. I was going to bet on Damien Oliver just because it's the only jockey I know and didn't know a single horse. But as I'm looking around the stalls about an hour before the race I decided to back the horse: 'without a fight' in the cup (the winner) simply because all the horses were surrounded by owners and trainers and punters and media but seemed ignored.

Without a fight was the only horse in the cup who I saw being paid attention to. Was being petted and brushed and talked to by a trainer or owner or someone important so I bet $20 for it to win.
Paid for all the soft drinks, smokes, transport and gave my uncle a $50 and I still left the day with $27 more than I started with.

So my Futurama horse references make no sense... I'm sure next year if I'm in a pool or sweeps or any sort of punt I'll be right back to losing!

How'd you do Fry?
I'll tell you when my horse finishes... Bad.

[Dr. Zoidberg]

I didn't have a bet this year. I did look at the guide the other day and the horse that would have been in my quinella and trifecta if I did have a bet was Right You Are, who came last and failed to finish. Uh oh, that doesn't sound good! He's not dead though, thankfully.

[2dr]

When the race began I couldn’t name a single horse or jockey. So I just watched it. Kinda phased out after the first kilometre but paid attention for the last hundred or so metres.