WWE Thread (Spoilers)

[Dr. Zoidberg]

[Ocelot]

Oh fuck.

[Dr. Zoidberg]

There's an NXT Vault on YT now.

https://www.youtube.com/@WWENXT

They are putting up old 2012 NXT episodes plus some other things.

[Bandit]

Unfortunately pretty much all female celebrities end up with stalkers. And not just the ones you'd expect like Sydney Sweeney or somebody. I've heard female singers get it the worst because a bunch of crazies start believing their love songs are about them.

But Nia Jax tried to cheer her up

[Ocelot]

Hell, Sweeney practically encourages stalkers. Ever heard her interviews?

[Dr. Zoidberg]

Look at that face...yikes...

[Ocelot]

Waiting for the PPV to start before I watch it but at this point I think I'm just gonna watch the men's rumble and be done with it.

Fucking Charlotte? Really? Coming back and winning? Well fuck the rest of the division. I guess we're getting Rhea/Charlotte 3 and Charlotte's gonna get her win back. I don't know anymore. HHH please don't make me lose my trust in you. Fuck.

[Dr. Zoidberg]

WWE getting that Tubi money!

[Skynet]

Didn't care for either Rumble winners, honestly

[Dr. Zoidberg]

Jey Uso winning is underwhelming. He might be super over but his wrestling is shitty.

[Skynet]

Jey Uso winning is underwhelming. He might be super over but his wrestling is shitty.

His spear is god awful. He gets gassed doing his own entrance. He has a shit catch phrase and an entrance the crowd gets into. Besides that, he's best either with Jimmy or the Bloodline as a whole

[Dr. Zoidberg]

He's OK in a tag team but not as a singles wrestler.

[Ocelot]

So fuck it I watched both rumbles after saying I wouldn't. Hey guess what. DID YOU KNOW????? that if you listen to the Spanish commentary, EVEN IF YOU DON'T KNOW SPANISH, it is LESS ANNOYING than the actual English commentators? Swear to fuck it made both rumbles a million times better. This is how I'm gonna watch anything WWE from now on.
Men's rumble was kinda meh. Why did Jey win? I have no idea. I probably should say more about it but honestly the ending was about the flattest thing I have ever seen. What a waste of a match and my time. Shit, let Penta win if you want a surprise winner but FUCK ME UP THE ASS why Jey?
Women's rumble was pretty good apart from Nia Jax BLOWING KAYFABE RIGHT OUT THE FUCKING WINDOW when it was time to start the finishing sequence. "EVERYONE UP!!!!" Why is this gigantic useless fat turd wrestling? On the other hand, I have to single out Iyo Sky and Roxanne Perez. Those were two starmaking performances. Roxanne in particular was a working machine out there. Also Stephanie Vaquer's ass. Always worth a mention.

((also I may or may not have been drinking shots while watching this so apologies. ))

[Bandit]

I don't watch it but I keep hearing Jey draws as a baby face and sells merch.

And yeah, Booker T says Roxanne is the best wrestler he has trained at his school. AEW wanted her too, but she went with Booker.

[Ocelot]

Isn't she the one that there's been wrestling scuttlebutt about sleeping with Booker for her training or just for the halibut?

If it is then frankly that sounds like fake carny bullshit that people made up because wrestling fans like to make up shit.

[Bandit]

[Dr. Zoidberg]

[Ocelot]

Charlotte's getting the wrong kind of heat. This isn't heel heat, this is 'go away we don't want to see you period' heat, which is the hardest thing to go against in the business ((I know this firsthand from the small indy shows I've booked). If they're dead set on pushing her into a main event WM match....oy, not a good idea.

[Bandit]

0% chance they don't do the match. They love Charlotte. She's Ric's daughter and Levesque's protégé. They really believe she was made into icon status by winning 14 titles and they really believe it's going to mean something when she "breaks Ric's record" and hits 17 in a few years. Nobody will care.

[Hawq]