Coronavirus thread

[Dr. Zoidberg]

So I'd recommend that to you.

Yeah that's probably what will happen. We could still be in lockdown by then anyway.

[OrangeRibbon]

Just had my first pfizer shot. Pretty easy.

The first one is easy, my arm was just slightly sore at the injection site. The second one had me feeling pretty exhausted and crappy for a day. But it wasn't too bad. I made sure I had the next day off when I got it because that's what my friends kept saying happened after they got it. So I'd recommend that to you.

Pretty much the same, since I work from home I worked, but with the warning that I might tap out.

[ian]

I'm not old enough to get the Vaccine.
But it's great that Melbourne is in lockdown again, I tried to get emergency dental treatment and my local health clinic is closed for anything that isn't either a covid test or vaccine... And I can't go to the one in the city, because it's more than 5KM away (or whatever the limit is today)

So I'll try again next week. If I don't jump in front of a train to be free from the agony before that.
I'm on a cocktail of borrowed pain meds, and brushing Vodka directly into my mouth every 5 minutes.. Because I can handle the burn of alcohol a lot better than this level of pain which I've never experienced before, and I've broken nearly every bone in my body, nearly severed the fingers on my right hand and had Kidney stones.
If the vodka and highly restricted massively strong pain medication stops being strong enough, I have some 100% Isopropanol alcohol here I can use like a mouth wash, if that doesn't work... Nearest fucking bridge it is.

Glad they're shutting down other essential medical services so I can reduce my 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 percent of catching covid which has a 0.0000001 percent chance of killing me.
FUCKING GENIUS!!!

Also, As I've been sober for a while now my tongue and gums are absorbing a lot of this vodka, and combined with the pain meds, I am really fucking drunk and I'll be passed out in like 5 hours so that's good.
Also, I want the FEISAR vaccine (Federal European Industrial Science and Research) I know they specialise in Anti-Gravity racing, but That's the one I want
(look it up)

[Dr. Zoidberg]

But it's great that Melbourne is in lockdown again, I tried to get emergency dental treatment and my local health clinic is closed for anything that isn't either a covid test or vaccine... And I can't go to the one in the city, because it's more than 5KM away (or whatever the limit is today)

You're allowed to go outside of the 5km limit for medical reasons, so go to the one in the city.

[ian]

Will call them and see if they can fit me in. although, in this state, I'm not looking forward to going on a train which will increase my 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001% chance of catching it to 0.0000000000001%.

hopefully I can go in tomorrow, because I'd rather be driving where I have literally 0 chance.

[Skynet]

Will call them and see if they can fit me in. although, in this state, I'm not looking forward to going on a train which will increase my 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001% chance of catching it to 0.0000000000001%.

hopefully I can go in tomorrow, because I'd rather be driving where I have literally 0 chance.

Just make sure you call the new emergency number 0118 999 881 999 119 725



3

[ian]

Will call them and see if they can fit me in. although, in this state, I'm not looking forward to going on a train which will increase my 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001% chance of catching it to 0.0000000000001%.

hopefully I can go in tomorrow, because I'd rather be driving where I have literally 0 chance.

Just make sure you call the new emergency number 0118 999 881 999 119 725



3

I get it! and is it sad I didn't need to look up to see you got the number right?

[ian]

Melbourne:
This is the greatest and best lockdown in the world.
Long time ago me and my Melbournians
We was locked in our homes on a long and lonesome road
All of a sudden
There shined Dan Andrews
In the middle of the road
And he said
Comply to the best lockdown in the world, or I'll eat your souls...
Well me and the others
We looked at each other
And we all said
Okay!
And they made the first rules that came to their heads
Just so happened to be
The best lockdown in the world
It was the best lockdown in the world.

Sydney:
This is not the greatest lockdown in the world, no.
This is just a tribute!
Couldn't remember the rules of the greatest lockdown in the world, yeah - no!
This is a tribute!
To the greatest lockdown in the world
Alright!

[Dr. Zoidberg]

[ian]

My newest parody really highlights how lazy I've gotten since my first parody 21 years ago.
Back then I spent days upon days on drafts, and changes and revisions and alternates.

Now I throw half finished shit together in 5 minutes and post it... FUCKING GOOD ENOUGH!
PRINT IT, I'LL BE IN MY THREE STORY TRAILER!

[ian]

Check in with a code. It's taking the piss
Scomo don't do shit, and nor does gladys
We're all sick of this!
Once every hundred thousand years or so
A Politician won't suck
A Politician won't blow
But when we don't know.

[Skynet]

7 day lockdown

[ian]

7 day lockdown

In Adelaide?

[Skynet]

Yeah started at 6pm. We went from 1 to 5 cases from yesterday to today lol

[Dr. Zoidberg]

Your premier is the opposite of dopey Gladys. She was too slow, he's been quick off the mark.

[Skynet]

Doesn't mean I still don't want to punch him in his stupid git face.

This morning we had 6, now 10 mins ago another 6 were confirmed. Last week was 0, Monday was 1, today was 6, now is 12.

[Dr. Zoidberg]

Doesn't mean I still don't want to punch him in his stupid git face.

Of course, he's still LNP.

[Skynet]

Hopefully the sound works on this

[Dr. Zoidberg]

Hopefully the sound works on this

What a dipshit.

[Bandit]

While you squares in the rest of the world are still dealing with COVID, America has moved on to the next hotness, monkeypox.



200 cases.